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  • Writer's pictureAsha Venkatarao

A few lines to my Appa - gone too soon, but always in my heart

Updated: Mar 11, 2021

Tucked away in the corners of my memories

are moments, glimpses, laughs

of years gone by

of scrabble played

of sipping hot chai on the hospital bed, with You.

I still remember through my young eyes

that hospital; the pain; the unknown agony

Of when you will walk again

Of when you might come home

Of nights spent alone with Amma in darkness

Of wondering what more could Life take from me

What could that young life know

of Death lurking in the shadows?

In one swift fell, it had landed its blow

To take a life, barely struggling to hold on

I guess Death knew him well;

Death doesn't wait; doesn't warn

It swoops in and grabs a life

And disappears silently into its depths

A void remains

Its shadow is long and deep ; a big, gaping wound

Time closes it, but one can feel it linger

One grows up; lives; steadies the hand on the hurt heart.

There's no option given to the living

But, Death shapes you, changes your growth as you live

Life & Death are the best teachers, aren't they?

Life teaches how to be here; how to live life here; in this body & breath

He taught me how to play scrabble on a hospital bed

How one can enjoy a piping-hot dosa with a smile

How to share a basket of pakodas with fellow patients in the general ward

How to re-learn walking, step-by-step, with a stick

How to connect, listen and be a warm, caring presence.

But Death?

His Death has written more words into my life;

more than I care to admit

That this life is finite

That all the material things are just that..material

That all I carry forward are my precious memories, glimpses of goodness

That all I leave behind are nuggets of connections, of friendship, of presence.

Thank you, Appa. We will meet again, I know

Maybe to bond again over chai & pakodas.

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